Feral

They've said so many things,
things I can't be bothered to remember anymore.

I'm in a ship, years away from all humans
if there are still humans to be away from.

I chose to go on this trip, this oddness, this
existence without end or destination.


--

This Night

世界地图

Yes, I will go back to my secrets.

I still worry about this.

If I went back, would I regret it? Of course I would.
If I went back, would I regret it? Of course I wouldn't.

through the rest of my life,
do you wait for me there?

A friend of mine brought me a book of poetry that one of his coworkers wrote.
We were at a party, slightly drunk.
He knew I enjoyed "that sort of thing", so I gave it a quick read.
After two or so, I handed it back and told my friend: "Tell this guy to please stop."
Like I said, I was slightly drunk.

That's how it starts

We walked away from hell
on the palms of our hands.


I'm happy these days.

if that's what it takes, then don't let it tear us apart

Another day, splitting of atoms.
My socks are swallowing my feet.


I write this to a few.


I had a job interview on Friday for a Montessori kindergarten on the east side of Beijing. More money, better area, another challenge for me as a teacher. I'm probably going to take the job, marking an end to my current life in Beijing. I'd be moving to the other side of the city, a part that is markedly different from where I am. I'd be leaving the job that brought me here. I'd be letting some people down, but at the same time I'd be starting something new, something a bit more healthy for my non-work life. The hours are set: 8-5 Monday through Friday. Some minor weekend work required on occasion, but I choose when to do it. In the summer, a whole month off. I might actually get to have a social life. Hu-fucking-zzah!


I miss you guys. Sometimes I feel like I'm a fool for staying here when I have so much love and support elsewhere.