I'm up in the woods,

I'm down on my mind.

http://www.longnow.org

I want to be involved with this organization. Its hard to say what I'd do, but I have limitless energy and enthusiasm reserves inside myself. If you haven't looked at this group before, I highly recommend it. I think they've got the right idea.

"The Clock of the Long Now": A clock built to last for up to 10,000 years. Buried in a mountain in eastern Nevada. What a beautiful idea.

I'm building a still,
to slow down the time.

I'm Not

If you've never heard it, I highly recommend "Personal Pitch" by Panda Bear.

What was it that drove me to write so much poetry when I was in University? Beyond the love of words, not much else. I put pen to paper and didn't really worry about what came out. I rarely edited, I shared with friends, I sat on beds and floors and couches and inhaled the dust of night landscapes.

English, French, Chinese, Japanese, Spanish. Next up: Arabic.
Although I only speak one of these with any major proficiency.
I guess I'm not the kind of person to stick with one thing for long. I'm too restless.

Restless Body Syndrome. That'll be the da-a-a-ay that I die.
I'll save some money and I'll buy your watch and throw it in the river.

Nanou3

I miss you, and its not only because I feel as though you are the siblings and loves I've never had. I miss you because you are the cabin in the woods that waits for me when I let my eyes rest. You are the view of myself that remains a closeup on my hands. You are the pushing of piano keys and the breath before a final note. I believe one day we'll all be together on a stage, bowing and waiting for the lights to be swallowed by the exiting audience. We'll be friends and loves and brothers and sisters. We'll never be apart and I'll never feel you far away. You are the ones I want to see when I die. Does anyone understand?

Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap.

Don't worry, I only use this when I must broadcast the viral infections,
The dips of day to day existence.
Most things are dull otherwise.

I can't take the GRE in Beijing. Its full up till the fall, and by then it will be too late. I'm plotting alternative courses.

Do you remember when I used to have a passion for writing? For artistic pursuits? What was I like? I can't recall being that person.

Alternative courses? Delaying enrollment till Fall 2010[!? God that seems too far away], The Peace Corp followed up by Fellows/USA, The Peace Corp minus Fellows/USA, Nothing, Disappearing for a few years and turning up one cold spring morning at a farmer's market in Wilmington with no memory of what happened to me [my personal favorite], staying the course [second star to the right, straight on till morning].

Really, I just write in this when I'm frustrated.

And if the mist ever lets the sun through...

We had a talk last night.
She wants me to go.
Its either she'll never forgive me [for leaving], or I'll never forgive myself [for not leaving].
I must do this while I'm young.
That's what she said.
I'm considering, yet I know my answer.